Bright (2017)

bright poster

Imagine if The Lord of the Rings wasn’t fantasy, but actual history. Fast forward hundreds of years to the present day, and perhaps the first orc has joined the LA police department. He’d be facing terrible racism, of course, not to mention a great deal of suspicion as to where his loyalties lie: with the law, or to the Clan. And of course, orcs sided with the Dark Lord all those centuries ago, so it’s not like you can trust any of them. Not like the elves – they’re the best of the best, beautiful and rich and of course running the show. Us humans? Just somewhere in the middle, trying to keep the pest fairies out of the bird feeders.

In this reality, the law must deal with fanatics who want to resurrect the Dark Lord, and generally keep an eye on problems with magic. And what could be more dangerous than a magic wand – a ‘nuclear bomb that grants wishes’? So when one of those turns up it’s not long before everyone – law, gangs, humans, elves and orcs – all want to get their hands on it.

Bright is an intriguing concept – high fantasy meets gritty police action – not particularly well executed overall, but actually turned out watchable enough. Will Smith is the big draw, of course, but he’s doing his bruised and damaged persona which is a lot less fun than his other character. Joel Edgerton is unrecognisable under the orc makeup, and to be honest the slow-witted character is just a bit too dim not to be a touch annoying, I felt. Elves get a bad rap, of course, but Noomi Rapace and Edgar Ramirez look great in their pointy ears.

Plot-wise, this is whip thin: everyone chasing and killing for that magic wand. The action pace tries to distract from that, and the special effects are pretty good, but without a character I actually liked (oy, the elf girl is annoyingly drippy!) there just wasn’t enough here to take ‘oddly intriguing’ into ‘liked’.

Of course, the big ‘thing’ about this movie is that it was released on Netflix, not in the cinema – smart move! Apparently it attracted an impressive 11 million curious viewers in its opening weekend, pretty much guaranteeing a sequel. And while I wasn’t exactly impressed with Bright, the fact that it will arrive on my TV without additional cost or effort means I’ll probably watch it – just, hope they can improve a bit on the plot and characters, tbh!

Released: 22nd December 2017
Viewed: 23rd December 2017
Running time: 117 minutes
Rated: 15

My rating: 5/10

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A Bad Mom’s Christmas (2017)

Bad Moms 2 poster

Bad Moms was one of those daft comedies that ended up having a little more heart and substance than I’d expected, and actually ended up rather enjoying. I still knew that this holiday-set sequel wasn’t going to be a ‘good’ movie, but it was the daft fun I was looking for.

Amy (Mila Kunis) is doing well after the events of the first movie, with a hot boyfriend, good relationship with her kids, and best friends Kiki and Carla agreeing with her that Christmas is far too much pressure on moms and therefore should be taken at their own pace.

Which is fine, until the grandmothers arrive in town…

The plot is utterly daft, but there is a lot of joy in seeing Susan Sarandon as the drug-hazed rock chick, and Christine Baranski largely playing the same character she does so well. The humour swings between very fun and very cringeworthy, though, so your mileage will vary hugely depending on how far you find funny. The dry humping in front of the Christmas table was a bit off for me, and the whole sickly sweet stalkerish mom didn’t tickle any funny bones. And, as with the first movie, the constant need to swear got a bit dull – and I sound like a naval cadet half the time, so I’m no prude! Maybe if they’d just varied from the one word every few lines?

Overall, though, this was the Christmas movie I was willing to tolerate at the start of the festivities (although it was out a whole month too early, if you ask me!), and provided enough feel good moments to kick off the season. Not exactly likely to knock Die Hard off the best Christmas movie spot, though 😉

Released: 1st November 2017
Viewed: 30th November 2017
Running time: 104 minutes
Rated: 15

My rating: 5/10

Geostorm (2017)

geostorm poster

Geostorm starts with the kind of cutesy, hopeful voice over that instantly made me fear I’d made a terrible, terrible mistake. Truth is, I avoided this movie for most of its release run, expecting awfulness. I’m pleased to report it was far from the worst thing I’ve ever seen – but, still in no way shape or form a good movie! Knowing that, relax and enjoy the spectacle.

So… in 2019 (that voiceover helpfully informs us), the scale of destruction caused by global warming-related extreme weather is such that all the nations of Earth band together to do something about it. Enter the highly unlikely casting of Gerry Butler as a top scientist, who leads a team in creating ‘Dutch Boy’ (after the tale of the one who stuck his finger in a… urm… dam, and saved the town from flooding), a system of satellites that can interfere in weather patterns before they become catastrophic. Of course no one would ever attempt to use that kind of power for evil, right?! o_O

What follows is every disaster movie trope you’ve ever seen before, plus every someone-high-up-is-behind-the-sabotage ‘thriller’, and a pretty cringeworthy rehash of every estranged-family-thrown-back-together stuff. Overly bright teenage offspring are on hand to give ‘meaning’ to saving the planet (!) and to sob pitifully for your heart string tugging needs. Cute animals are imperiled by tornados! Lots of scantily-clad beach people are frozen to icicles!!!

If I’m not being clear, this is daftness turned up to, oooh, about eight and a half? If, however, you manage to actually see any of the movie between bouts of eye-rolling, then the visual candy is quite nice. I did love the new and improved ISS – space geek that I am – and the balance tipped in favour of ‘space stuff’ over too much CGI natural disaster footage.

To say there’s absolutely nothing original about this is putting it mildly. If I had paid for the experience, I might be feeling ripped off. However, a quiet afternoon’s excuse for leaving my brain switched off, it really wasn’t as dreadful as I feared – which is about as high praise as I can manage. Still, in terms of meeting expectations, it was into the positive. Go figure!

Released: 20th October 2017
Viewed: 9th November 2017
Running time: 109 minutes
Rated: 12A

My rating: 5/10

Death Overdue – Allison Brook

death overdue cover

“Time to move on.”

I’m getting quite fond of the ‘cosy mystery’ genre, turning to these kinds of titles for easy and uplifting reads. I also love books set in libraries, so this sounded like a win-win.

Carrie Singleton is getting ready to leave her childhood town again and go back to her rootless existence when she’s offered a better role at the library where she’s been temping. One of her first tasks is organising a talk by a former police detective, one who’s now promising to solve the cold case he failed with fifteen years before: the murder of a local mother and library employee. However, it seems that the secret killer might be less than keen to let him have his say…

There’s plenty to enjoy reading this book, but in all honesty I can’t give it a very high rating. It’s a lot more ‘chick-lit’ and romance-based than I would have hoped, which could be fine, but alas that pushes the mystery and paranormal bits not only to lesser importance but to rather rushed and not-great written parts. The opening murder, for instance, seems very clunkily handled: a ‘I know I need this bit, but not quite how to write it’ feeling, which is a real shame.

There’s also the usual fluffy genre failing of the heroine’s too-perfect life falling into her lap. First it’s the near-perfect job – okay, that one comes with half an explanation. But then there’s the massively reduced rent on an amazing house, interested dishy men to chose from, family who spoil her endlessly, enemies made good, and heck – we can even squeeze a kitten in here because why not?! I didn’t even wholly like the main character, with her goth look so easily cast aside, murky reasonings for turning sleuth and quite frankly daft ways of stumbling onwards, and not-great treatment of other characters.

Still, it was easy enough to read and keep going with, despite the flaws. Perhaps the next in the series will be able to build on the strengths – an intriguing and helpful library ghost, for instance, or perhaps an explanation as to how this particularly library is so well-funded – and lose some of the fluffier failings.

NetGalley eARC: 336 pages / 37 chapters
First published: October 2017
Series: A Haunted Library Mystery book 1
Read from 6th-11th October 2017

My rating: 5/10

The Easy Way to Mindfulness – Allen Carr

Easy Way to Mindfulness cover

What if there was a simple, no-effort way to reduce stress, free yourself from anxiety and depression, and increase your happiness? This book’s not quite promising to magically transform your life into rainbows and unicorns, but it’s not far off!

I actually am a huge believer in the power of mindfulness, and meditation, and have experienced a positive change in my life from years of both. However, I’m by no means an expert so any help is more than welcome. Step forward this ‘Easy Way’ title, from the people who apparently devised the best quit smoking method ever – surely a good credential?

Well, they seem to think so, as the book half-reads as a giant advert for the system and previous books – which I found massively irritating. Even discounting those bits, the examples tend to go back to smokers – which was beyond irrelevant to me, and actually left me struggling as I have no experience to connect to such an addiction. Could I move the example over to, say, tea or chocolate? Not so much – unlike smoking, there isn’t the same black-and-white it’s awful, and quite frankly I don’t really want to give up tea or chocolate (having done both at certain points) so this “every smoker absolutely wants to quit” message is again pushing me away.

So: I’d suggest that this is perhaps a book for people who have or want to quit smoking, drinking, gambling, etc, perhaps even using the Easy Way method, and want to go deeper into the mindful techniques that they’ve already used for that.

I did quite like some of the imagery: head in a box of flies-that-are-your-issues, mindfulness is not trying to squish the flies but rather taking your head out of the box. One chapter (13) in particular resonated with me, about the struggling against things being more stressful than the thing itself; life is change, go with the flow etc etc.

However, while there are little bits and pieces like that throughout the book – and these are handily summarised in a final chapter run through (that could, I suspect, have been the outline for a better stab at the full content) – I felt it could have been much better written, with a lot more flow. Paragraphs don’t always follow from the previous one, but rather jump around a little, and the content of each chapter isn’t necessarily as strongly linked to the title as I would have expected.

It really doesn’t help that every single chapter seems to include heavy advertising for the quit smoking clinics and previous books. This is shoe-horned in regardless of whether it actually fits with the mindfulness concept under discussion, which was hugely off-putting. And then the last 10% of the book is a list of clinics’ contact details and previous books o_O

Overall: it’s got some useful advice buried in the advertising, and I suspect that if you’re already a member of the Easy Way audience this might resonate more with you, but I couldn’t help be disappointed that it wasn’t a little more helpful, a little more on-topic (I am hugely interested in mindfulness, after all!) and a little less advertisement for a product I have no use for.

NetGalley eARC: 197 pages / 20 chapters
First published: 15th October 2017
Series: part of the Easy Way series of self-help books
Read from 3rd-7th October 2017

My rating: 5/10

Rough Night (2017)

Rough Night poster

Combining a 10-year reunion with a hen do (bachelorette party, for American readers), a group of best friends from university find their night going from bad to worse. Accidentally killing the stripper is only the beginning, compounded by the craziest, worst choices imaginable. Meanwhile, the groom-to-be gets his wires crossed, and is on a mission of his own to win back the bride. She’s a little too preoccupied with trying to dump another man – or, his body, at least!

It’s really really easy to knock Rough Night. It is very far from brilliant, nor is it as funny as it thinks it is. It is, however, very daft and a bit of light-hearted fun, which was exactly what I needed when I when to see this.

In its favour, at least for me, was a lot less ‘gross-out’ in the comedy than, say, Bridesmaids or similar movies, despite the large amounts of swearing and sexual overtones. I hated Bridesmaids, btw, finding the bitch fake friends outdoing each other cringeworthy. There is an element of that at the start of this – very, very similar, in fact – but it’s just not taken to the same dire level. This, however, is probably part of some people’s complaints about it not being really that funny – it doesn’t keep pushing to find the point where you laugh or want to – well, maybe ‘cry’ isn’t the right word. Anyway, I was glad that the movie let me be amused rather than feeling it HAD to make me hysterical.

The cast is a bit so-so. Scarlett Johansson doesn’t strike me as cut out for comedy, but playing the straight woman gives her an out. Kate McKinnon was my new hero after Ghostbusters, but while she is amusing here there is something distracting about the accent forming the larger part of the performance. Zoe Kravitz and Ilana Glazer add a mid-layer with the added twist of being a former couple (which works well). However, Jillian Bell’s character is seriously annoying, for many of the same reasons I hated Bridesmaids.

From the trailers I was expecting a twist on Weekend at Bernies, but was well off the mark. There is a point where I couldn’t see where else the movie was going to go, before it chucks in a couple of outlandish elements – again, just staying on the right side of too over the top, unlike, say the absolutely dire Snatched.

Overall, I can’t really recommend this but it’s not actually as awful as many reviews make it out to be. If you want something that straddles a line between those gross-out comedies I hate and something almost a bit sweet by the end, then a pizza and a glass of wine on the sofa would just about make this watchable of a quiet evening.

Released: 25th August 2017
Viewed: 27th August 2017
Running time: 101 minutes
Rated: 15

My rating: 5/10

MAD Librarian – Michael Guillebeau

MAD Librarian cover

“Serenity tried.”

Just because the budget for her public library is being slashed again and again, doesn’t mean head librarian Serenity Sweetwater Hammer doesn’t have big dreams about what they could do for the local community if only they did have the money. When the all-important internet bill needs paid, her desperate search for cash uncovers something… strange. Fortuitous. Dangerous?

When money becomes no object, what does a librarian do?

I really wanted to like this book. I love books about books and libraries, and handing power to a librarian sounds like a good idea 😉 And of course, it’s a lovely idea that half of the book’s profits go to a library charity. But, alas, concept and reality just didn’t gel for me.

To begin with, the opening chapters – the setting up of the ‘norm’ – are actually quite depressing. Yup, librarians are underfunded. Yup, politicians are vile. But oy, the sexism, the over-the-top aggressive dismissals Serenity faces as she’s expected to produce miracles, just made me grind my teeth. Probably the point, but to be honest I didn’t need to read it again and again.

Nor, actually, did I need the rather out of place sex scene near the end. It’s not too graphic, but it felt very voyeuristic and out of place. Serenity’s marriage subplot really didn’t work all that well for me at all, there was just something clunky about the relationship as written, with overly-perfect cop hubby, Joe Hammer (I mean, really!).

Anyway, the early depressive tone changes to more of a mystery, which does help, but things escalate rather to the point of ridiculousness. The supporting characters don’t help: you’d think distinguishing between the one very young and one very old under-librarians would be easy enough, but to be honest… urm? One had tattoos, one insisted on being called ‘Doom’ – both were very OTT in the ‘anything for the library!’ message.

Overall, I think it was a nice idea, and it was a very quick and easy read. Chapters were very short, a few pages at most, so I suspect a fair amount of those 400 pages were whitespace. However, while I don’t begrudge the reading time, I felt very disappointed that things were only 90%-ish wrapped up, with the first chapter of the sequel included at the end – which I really don’t see me picking up.

NetGalley eARC: 404 pages / 70 chapters
First published: December 2017
Series: first of something, given the sequel’s opening chapter was included at the end
Read from 1st-4th September 2017

My rating: 5/10 – nice idea, but didn’t hit the mark for me